What To Expect At A Vietnamese Tea Ceremony

April 16, 2019

If you're planning a vietnamese wedding or you're planning on being a guest at a vietnamese tea ceremony (congrats! usually only very close friends and family members get invited), please read a bride's letter to the attendees. As an attendee, bridesmaid, and bride or groom of a vietnamese wedding, this is a great example of what you should e-mail out to your guests two months before the actual date. There are some brides that even have the vietnamese tea ceremony the day before, so guests may need to make travel arrangements to arrive a day earlier.

Hi Friends and Family,

First of all, we wanted to share special thanks to all of you who have traveled near and far to attend our special day. We know that most of you all have never been to a vietnamese tea ceremony. We really appreciate your involvement in this day. The vietnamese tea ceremony traditionally IS the wedding and is part of my culture that I do not want to lose, so thanks everyone for making it happen!

Here is the vision for the day, as always subject to change, but here is what you should expect:

1) Location: The vietnamese tea ceremony is always at the mother of the brides house. The groom's side (groom's family, groomsmen) come to the mother of the brides house to ask for permission.

2) Attire: Formal

a) Men-Tuxedos or formal tear for the wedding, the groomsmen are renting from The Black Tux

b) Women- Formal dresses (I love Rent the Runway) or of course your chance to wear an "Ao Dai"! An Ao Dai is a vietnamese traditional dress, which is essentially a long tunic over flared trousers. The majority of females will be wearing an Ao Dai, so if you want to try something new you can always rent or buy one from Ao Dai Bella or Ao Dai Vinh. If you decide to get an Ao Dai, make sure to order within 1-2 months of the tea ceremony, as they are all custom made (even if rented) and take time to ship.

3) The groom and groomsmen, Grooms family, will come to the mother of the brides house at 12:30 (they should be 30 mins early), as they will come to my mom's house to bear the round containers covered in red cloth. Inside these containers will be wine, tea, fruit, etc. The groomsmen will also carry a roasted pig into the house (it's heavy so have your strongest groomsmen help).

4) At 1, you all will line up and give the containers to the bridesmaids outside of my mom's house. Once you give the containers to the bridesmaids, you will follow them in to the house.

5) Once you are inside, a representative from the Brides family will introduce the family member. Then, a representative from the Grooms side will introduce the grooms family. If you want the introductions to be a little more fun than traditional, the family members can do a slight bow or wave or do a little dance. If someone in your family is an overachiever, they can prepare a little speech with marriage advice.

6) At most Tea Ceremonies, there is an elder that will prompt everyone what to do. I've never been to one that was perfect!

7) You will get to watch the bride and groom pour tea or wine to their new parents. Supposed to be a symbol of merging of the two families.

8) It is customary for the mother of the groom to give the bride jewelry.

8) You will see the two families over red envelopes to the bride and groom as a symbol of prosperity. Here's a link to where you can get a red envelope, you don't want to show up without one!

9) Lunch will be served with tons of vietnamese food.

Now for a *fun fact*, in vietnamese culture, it is actually the mother that gives away the bride.

If you have any questions, please let me know. Please forward this e-mail to anyone else that is invited to the tea ceremony that might find the videos/email informative.

Thanks and lot's of love! See you all soon!!!

XOXO,

Bride